Happy Thursday, beautiful people.
Gosh, I missed saying that. For those of you who are confused why I did? Well, up until February, I used to post on Instagram every Thursday. Eventually, I was too overwhelmed to continue that ritual. I tell myself everyday that I will get back on, and start posting again, but honestly, I still can’t muster the courage. It’s hard being on social media. Those who do manage to post, reply, share, save, and engage with the community, I am so impressed. You must be a superhero! Okay, enough side tracking. Before I start my blog post, I am going to plead my ignorance, this entire post is my own opinion based on my observation and culture. If our opinions don’t meet, please be kind enough to enlighten me. I am more than happy to broaden my horizons. Let’s get started!
I know, I know. We’re all taught be to selfless and giving. Be nice and compromise. But how much giving can a person be? I am Indian. I am a woman. It is frowned upon when we try to be selfish. And honestly, I am tired of nurturing the guilt when I am trying to do something for myself.
You’re probably like but Keira, don’t you think you’re being a LITTLE dramatic today? Well, maybe I am. Maybe I am not. (Thank the Lord that I am not famous, so I am not scared of being #cancelled. )
Okay, okay. Let’s go with the definition of selfish, right? That’s the only way to go about it.
According to Oxford dictionary: (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
Okay, that’s a heavy definition. I feel like it’s screaming at me already.
When I think of being selfish, I usually am thinking to ” concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” and this harbors a lot of guilt and shame within me. It probably has to do with my culture.
“Spread love and happiness. CoMpRoMiSe!!!!!”
Does anything really realize how exhausting it is to continuously let things go?
If you’re sitting there wondering why I am making such a huge deal of this. Well, think of this for me, please.
Has an instance ever occurred where your mom sacrificed something for you? It could be something as minute as giving you the last piece of her bread or lying that she wasn’t hungry? Yeah. She was lying, she was probably hungry and realllly wanted that piece of bread or cake. And, yes, you probably didn’t think twice before eating it. And 99% of the time, you didn’t even acknowledge all the things she’s done for you over the course of years where you should’ve said thanks just to make everything a little better and bearable for her. I am not saying that you’re not superb human being. You probably are. But, an individual can only go able for so long without feeling respected and cared for.
So yes, damn with you. Your mom should definitely indulge in that piece of bread without the fear of being labeled as a selfish mother.
I am sure some thumb warriors are ready to point out, “but what about fathers? They sacrifice too!” And of course they do! They’ve worked to the bone, and their time away from their family is another form of sacrifice too. AGAIN, I am not saying mother’s can’t work. Gosh, there’s no winning with you guys, is there? That isn’t what I was talking about. It was just an example I was giving out.
What I am trying to say is that it’s easy for people to label you as being selfish or self involved for doing something gravely just for yourself. Do what makes you happy and if people are quick to label you with a nasty word, well, wear it as a badge. (But don’t steal your roommate’s food and then blame it on me! Hello, Keira didn’t teach you to steal food!)
Think of it as your own Scarlett Letter A. Ahhh, now we’re feeling scandalous eh?
I know I have been trying, thinking about myself over others, is difficult but I will take it one step at a time. I hope you do too. For your sanity and mental health’s sake. You can’t be expected to look after other’s while you’re breaking apart. Be kind, but to yourself first.
Phew, that was a hard piece to right. Did you guys feel it too? I would appreciate if you could tell me your thoughts on it. Did you like it? Dislike it? Came around, let’s have a conversation. I am always happy to brew a cuppa! Sending my love and best wishes your way. Stay safe and get vaccinated!