Soapbox Rant: Why it’s not bad to be selfish?

Happy Thursday, beautiful people.

Gosh, I missed saying that. For those of you who are confused why I did? Well, up until February, I used to post on Instagram every Thursday. Eventually, I was too overwhelmed to continue that ritual. I tell myself everyday that I will get back on, and start posting again, but honestly, I still can’t muster the courage. It’s hard being on social media. Those who do manage to post, reply, share, save, and engage with the community, I am so impressed. You must be a superhero! Okay, enough side tracking. Before I start my blog post, I am going to plead my ignorance, this entire post is my own opinion based on my observation and culture. If our opinions don’t meet, please be kind enough to enlighten me. I am more than happy to broaden my horizons. Let’s get started!

Be Selfish!

I know, I know. We’re all taught be to selfless and giving. Be nice and compromise. But how much giving can a person be? I am Indian. I am a woman. It is frowned upon when we try to be selfish. And honestly, I am tired of nurturing the guilt when I am trying to do something for myself.

You’re probably like but Keira, don’t you think you’re being a LITTLE dramatic today? Well, maybe I am. Maybe I am not. (Thank the Lord that I am not famous, so I am not scared of being #cancelled. )

Okay, okay. Let’s go with the definition of selfish, right? That’s the only way to go about it.

According to Oxford dictionary: (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

Okay, that’s a heavy definition. I feel like it’s screaming at me already.

Calm down, Mr. Pointy Finger.

When I think of being selfish, I usually am thinking to ” concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” and this harbors a lot of guilt and shame within me. It probably has to do with my culture.

“Spread love and happiness. CoMpRoMiSe!!!!!”

Does anything really realize how exhausting it is to continuously let things go?

If you’re sitting there wondering why I am making such a huge deal of this. Well, think of this for me, please.

Has an instance ever occurred where your mom sacrificed something for you? It could be something as minute as giving you the last piece of her bread or lying that she wasn’t hungry? Yeah. She was lying, she was probably hungry and realllly wanted that piece of bread or cake. And, yes, you probably didn’t think twice before eating it. And 99% of the time, you didn’t even acknowledge all the things she’s done for you over the course of years where you should’ve said thanks just to make everything a little better and bearable for her. I am not saying that you’re not superb human being. You probably are. But, an individual can only go able for so long without feeling respected and cared for.

So yes, damn with you. Your mom should definitely indulge in that piece of bread without the fear of being labeled as a selfish mother.

I am sure some thumb warriors are ready to point out, “but what about fathers? They sacrifice too!” And of course they do! They’ve worked to the bone, and their time away from their family is another form of sacrifice too. AGAIN, I am not saying mother’s can’t work. Gosh, there’s no winning with you guys, is there? That isn’t what I was talking about. It was just an example I was giving out.

What I am trying to say is that it’s easy for people to label you as being selfish or self involved for doing something gravely just for yourself. Do what makes you happy and if people are quick to label you with a nasty word, well, wear it as a badge. (But don’t steal your roommate’s food and then blame it on me! Hello, Keira didn’t teach you to steal food!)

Think of it as your own Scarlett Letter A. Ahhh, now we’re feeling scandalous eh?

I know I have been trying, thinking about myself over others, is difficult but I will take it one step at a time. I hope you do too. For your sanity and mental health’s sake. You can’t be expected to look after other’s while you’re breaking apart. Be kind, but to yourself first.

Phew, that was a hard piece to right. Did you guys feel it too? I would appreciate if you could tell me your thoughts on it. Did you like it? Dislike it? Came around, let’s have a conversation. I am always happy to brew a cuppa! Sending my love and best wishes your way. Stay safe and get vaccinated!

Do More of What Scares You.

Hi there, my lovelies.

I am sure you are as surprised to see an actual blog post from me, rather than my usual ARC reviews. I know, it’s been a while. I just needed some space and I am trying to figure out my footing in the meantime.

I have developed a new schedule! Finally! Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays! From which Thursday would be dedicated to my writing. It could be anything. A short story, poem, just talking about my writing process or even an opportunity to interact with the community. Tuesdays and Saturdays are completely dedicated to ARC reviews. I have got so many to read and share!! (I am so excited to share my Netgalley badges on the sidebar, don’t forget to check them out!! )

I have heard this quote so many times, and each time I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Do what scares me? Uh… I am a germaphobe and a control freak, numerous things terrify me!

But recently, I have had time to just sit and think. For almost a year and a half, we’ve all endured so much and now, our new normal MIGHT just shift to the old normal. (With the due course, of course.) That scares me. The thought of mingling with people again. I don’t think I can carry on a conversation in the “wild” now after just being comfortable with how drastic the change had been.

So… For now, I have been concentrating on my thought process.

So what did I do?

Let’s be real here. I am human not a fictional character from a book that suddenly decides on skydiving. I am going to start small. And I am going to do things that frighten me. Hence why the new schedule is born. I wish to do things that would push me out of my shell rather than make me miserable.

Maybe the fear is just in the mind and it should be. No one can see fear but we all experience it in various forms.

Difference between self-love and hate?

I don’t know about you folks, but I try to derive happiness from accomplishing tasks even if that said task does not provide me with the satisfaction I had originally intended. If you were asking for examples, I’d say getting into Dean’s or Chancellor’s lists. Completing NaNoWriMo 2020. The joy probably lasted two seconds, “Oh, wow. I actually did that” then the indifference would settle in. Humans are so fickle. Say, if I hadn’t received those recognitions then I’d be upset thinking I haven’t attained my full potential and thus why I am sad. Which makes sense as to why people try and set New Year Resolutions. I wanted to make this piece a lot more cheerful but I couldn’t overlook the mental state of the character in mind.

I mean, does body modification make someone like themselves more? I don’t know. I don’t think so. As I would imagine is that the state of mind does not change that is why when a slimmer person gains weight, their confidence isn’t affected as much. That confidence is bred in them. It wouldn’t shatter – like those piñata cakes we see on the gram- because of the change in number. Whereas, when a bigger person goes smaller, they’d imagine that would solve all their problems, but it wouldn’t. It takes time to build that confidence and self-appreciation.

So, yeah. I am not sure. But, I suppose my message is that it doesn’t matter how you look or what form you are in. As long as you’re content with yourself. With the New Year coming in, I do hope whatever resolutions you have, you have it because you want to do it for yourself. For your own mental health and peace. I know I will. 2021 will be a year where I will try to open my Third Eye and attain peace within. 


Guest Post by Keira Shah (periwinkle.pens): Cancel Culture & Doxing — is it Hurting your Mental Health? — Tales From Boredom

Individuals have been affected by a new form of ostracism that has been taking the internet by a storm – the Cancel Culture.  Sure, it is always good to educate people on their mistakes, but none of us were born on a pedestal with omnipotent knowledge. It took trials and errors, blunders, and chastisements to […]

Guest Post by Keira Shah (periwinkle.pens): Cancel Culture & Doxing — is it Hurting your Mental Health? — Tales From Boredom

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity!! Please do check out TalesFromBoredom on WordPress or Instagram. She’s an amazing artist. (Seriously, an all rounder!)